{"id":511,"date":"2013-03-27T00:33:40","date_gmt":"2013-03-27T00:33:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/?p=511"},"modified":"2013-03-27T00:33:40","modified_gmt":"2013-03-27T00:33:40","slug":"school-bans-triangular-flapjacks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/?p=511","title":{"rendered":"School bans triangular flapjacks"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is from Breitbart<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It happened in Britain, but it could happen in Massachusetts or Maryland easily enough.\u00a0 And I’m afraid I’m going to let my vast readership, all three of them, down.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because I’m at a complete loss for words here.\u00a0 First I was laughing too hard to write about it, then I was shaking my head in amazement so hard my monitor was disappearing in the periphery of my vision.<\/p>\n

But I think I’ve pulled myself together enough to at least produce something, although it’s depressing.\u00a0 I’ve been fortunate to live in a miniscule window of history when there was freedom in the world, at least part of it.\u00a0 And I’ve been fortunate to live in the free part of it.\u00a0 The kids today won’t know what it’s like.\u00a0 Maybe because they’re too busy throwing flapjacks around like boomerangs that don’t return.\u00a0 But more likely because people have surrendered their freedom for the illusion of safety.\u00a0 In this case, it’s the freedom to bear triangular flapjacks.<\/p>\n

So the only kids who will have triangular flapjacks now will be the bad kids, the ones destined for juvenile hall, or wherever they send the little shits in England.\u00a0 And the schools will be triangular free flapjacks zones, so the other kids will be sitting ducks.\u00a0 Returning fire with round flapjacks when being attacked by triangular assault flapjacks will be like attacking a gun wielding maniac with a pair of scissors, which the Department of Homeland Security has recommended.<\/p>\n

So for the kids of today, I didn’t vote for anybody who would deprive you of triangular flapjacks.\u00a0 But your older brothers and sisters who are old enough to vote have.\u00a0 They’re just as screwed as you are, but they’re not smart enough to realize it yet and even when they are, they’ll blame it on Bush.\u00a0 In the meantime, I’ll grow old in sanity’s waning years.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is from Breitbart. It happened in Britain, but it could happen in Massachusetts or Maryland easily enough.\u00a0 And I’m afraid I’m going to let my vast readership, all three of them, down.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because I’m at a complete loss … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ramblings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/511","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=511"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/511\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":512,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/511\/revisions\/512"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=511"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=511"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=511"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}