{"id":677,"date":"2017-03-25T00:57:07","date_gmt":"2017-03-25T00:57:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/?p=677"},"modified":"2017-03-25T01:00:36","modified_gmt":"2017-03-25T01:00:36","slug":"what-if-trump-had-said-it-instead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/?p=677","title":{"rendered":"What if Trump had said it, instead?"},"content":{"rendered":"

“The 80s called, they want their foreign policy back.” — Barack Hussein Obama<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(Not the exact quote, but the actual quote verbatim is jumbled in Obama-syntax and doesn’t lend itself well to the written word.) What would have happened if Candidate Donald J. Trump had said it instead? Let’s find out.<\/p>\n

In a CNN Segment, a Perfectly Coiffed Anchorette (PCA) introduces a panel of four guests…<\/p>\n

PCA: Good evening and thank you for being here. During the debate last night, Presidential Candidate Donald Trump said the following.<\/p>\n

A brief clip of Donald Trump making the 80s comment is run.<\/em><\/p>\n

PCA: We’re going to discuss this developing controversy with our panel. First, I’d like to introduce Professor Dukie Weinstein, head of the physics department at Harvard University.<\/p>\n

A panel of four heads appears in a square pattern on the right side of the screen, while she occupies the left. Her eyebrows lower with grave concern.<\/em><\/p>\n

PCA: Professor, the Washington Post’s factchecker has assigned this four Pinocchios, because they claim it’s not scientifically possible for the 80s to call. Do we have the technology to talk with the past?<\/p>\n

Professor Weinstein: Well, it’s a complicated answer. There are theoretical physicists who have speculated that using a quantum multiverse string model with 31 dimensions, it is possible for the past to call the present. But there’s a catch. It requires more energy than is in the entire Milky Way galaxy to conduct a three minute call. It would have to be brief. So we don’t have the technology yet, and we certainly didn’t have it in the 80s who Trump claims made the call.<\/p>\n

PCA: Thank you Professor Weinstein, that certainly puts an interesting, er, dimension on the subject. We now go to Doctor Mickey Weiss, a clinical psychologist. Doctor, claiming the 80s called has raised serious concerns about Trump’s mental health. What is your take on it?<\/p>\n

Doctor Weiss: Donald Trump’s claim to have talked with the past is a classic example of psychotic detachment syndrome. He’s become detached from reality. It’s impossible to diagnose, of course, without examining him. But his claim raises a red flag and I feel it’s too much to risk electing him president.<\/p>\n

PCA nods knowingly.<\/em> <\/p>\n

PCA: Thank you doctor. We have Congresswoman Maxine Jackson Lewis from the Congressional Black Caucus. Good evening, Congresswoman. What are your thoughts about Donald Trump’s claim.<\/p>\n

MJL: Now, more than ever, I feel that electing Donald Trump president would be a disaster for women and people of color.<\/p>\n

PCA’s eyebrows lower in such grave concern, they nearly reach her eyeballs.<\/em><\/p>\n

PCA: And why is that?<\/p>\n

MJL: If Donald Trump has his timephone in the White House, it will mean all the gains we’ve made will be erased. What happens when 1910 calls and women can no longer vote? What happens when 1850 comes and we’re all in chains again? Donald Trump’s timephone will mean our shtruggle was for nothing.<\/p>\n

PCA: Thank you, Congresswoman. We’ll now ask Trump supporter Gemmint Otis
\nto weigh in. Mr. Otis, what do you say to all the women and minorities who will be adversely impacted by a Trump presidency?<\/p>\n

GO: First of all, Mr. Trump’s comment was meant to be sarcas–<\/p>\n

His square becomes a test pattern of vertical colors in a rainbow pattern, then goes black.<\/em><\/p>\n

PCA: We’ve lost him. Thank you all for joining us tonight.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“The 80s called, they want their foreign policy back.” — Barack Hussein Obama (Not the exact quote, but the actual quote verbatim is jumbled in Obama-syntax and doesn’t lend itself well to the written word.) What would have happened if … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mainstream-media","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=677"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":687,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677\/revisions\/687"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.clw54.com\/blog\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}