Indeed he is. To be a planet, it’s necessary to clear the field within its orbit. Also to be big enough to become spherical. Trump isn’t spherical, but he doesn’t need to be. He’s Trump, and he has the hair. That hair is bigly.

Besides, he cleared the field in epic fashion and made it look easy. First there was the ponderous low energy object, designated Jeb! No problem there, Trump just swept that one aside. It’s now a rogue in interstellar space. Then there were numerous planetoids that aspired to be planets but weren’t ready for prime time. They spun out one by one, until only a few were left.

There was the smaller asteroid, Lil’ Marco, who gave it a try but its time wasn’t here. Besides, Lil’ Marco tended to invite foreign objects into our solar system instead of clearing them out. He couldn’t be relied upon to keep his orbit free of invaders from deep space. He seemed to welcome them.

There was the rather nondescript object called the Ohio Nuisance, but that was just a nuisance. In good time, it was gone, leaving only the Mighty Trump and the radioactive Planet Cruz. Cruz was tough to clear out, but eventually Planet Trump managed. Cruz is in a different orbit, but still visible. Trump is okay with that.

But then came the Blond Death Star.

The Blond Death Star had been around a long time, a chunky object with a permanently crooked orbit and an increasingly wobbly rotational axis that at times became horizontal. Still, it was extremely dangerous, with a noxious Sulphuric atmosphere. People who came within its orbital field had an inexplicable way of ending up dead. Those who lived to tell about it were forever corrupted. Wise people stayed far away. To make matters worse, the Blond Death Star was made of antimatter, which is highly destructive over time. Many people are attracted to this antimatter, without recognizing its dangers.

It wasn’t easy, but in time Trump outmaneuvered the Blond Death Star by claiming space the Blond Death Star has assumed was its. But there is much antimatter remaining, which in sufficient quantities presents a danger to Planet Trump. This antimatter causes problems through besieging its victims with fakery and outright lies. So far, Planet Trump seems up to the task. Let’s hope his orbit stays tight and true.