Carlos Danger

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I’m going to let my vast readership down on this one. All five readers plus the NSA. Maybe Obama would even read it if he attended NSA briefings. But my ego is causing me to digress from the topic of this post. Which is Carlos Danger, also known as Anthony Weiner.

Now I’ve heard that Anthony/Carlos has tweeted of facebooked or otherwise texted pictures of his…uh, weiner and that they can be found on the web. I haven’t confirmed this, however. It’s not something I really want to see. So categorize this as mere speculation.

The trouble with blogging about Carlos Danger is that it’s impossible to do without going into paroxysms of raucous laughter. It just can’t be done. If allegedly posting pictures of his junk isn’t enough to sink his political career, then using that pseudonym surely should finish him off. But it might not. Remember, he’s a Democrat.

But you know what’s funny about this, other than all of it? Supposing, hypothetically, that his name really was Carlos Danger. And suppose he needed a pseudonym and came up with Anthony Weiner. That would be equally funny.

Probably the person most happy about all of this is Bob Filner. That guy really needs a diversion, right about now.

Is left vs. right the correct argument?

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Maybe it isn’t. The right and left are split into different primary interests. On the right there are social and fiscal conservatives. On the left are gays and lesbians and other variations, minority interests, and feminists. But there is a common thread that differentiates the left and the right. The right are civilized, the left are not.

Look at how the left behaves, they bit off fingers, assault vendors and street preachers, and generally cause mayhem wherever they go. That’s why a group of leftists is more likely to get its way than a right wing demonstration. People are afraid of what the left will do if they don’t get their way. Heck, they cause trouble when they do get their way. The right makes a point of being civil, which is why nobody gives in to them. What’s there to worry about with a collection of conservatives congregating outside a capitol? You can pass legislation inside and walk right past them when you’re done. You’ll live to vote on more crap the next day.

Perhaps it’s not so much left and right as a gradual destruction of civilization. Nothing seems to upset the left more than people adhering to institutions the country was founded on. Religion, the family, freedom to work the land, gun ownership, it’s all under relentless attack on whatever premise is convenient at the moment. That seems to be a constant, like the speed of light.

Who actually writes these things?

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At 1,075 pages long, it’s not the biggest bill to come through in recent years — that honor still belongs to the health care law — but the immigration legislation pending in the Senate is challenging the ability of voters to get their brains around its complexity.

I’ve read that Schumer and Graham are authors, but this thing is as long as Atlas Shrugged which took years to write. Yet these bills crop up out of nowhere. People talk about them, then they just show up as if materializing from another dimension. So do the “authors” really know what’s in them themselves? How could they? It’s not possible they actually wrote the text. Schumer and Graham aren’t sitting down at typewriters cranking these things out.

If they ever rewrote the Constitution, what would that be like? Whatever, Harry Reid would schedule a vote without anybody being able to read it. They’d have to pass it to find out what’s in it, like they do with everything else they vote on.

So it should be politically safe to vote against a thousand page piece of legislation. Just tell the truth. The vote was forced before anybody had a chance to review it. And it should be safe to vote against such a bill if people do have time to read it. There’s bound to be something in there to justify a no vote. No bill that size should ever pass. Never.

Civil Disobedience, Conservative Style

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From the Gateway Pundit…

A high school valedictorian from South Carolina ripped up his approved speech on stage this past weekend, and minutes later, delivered the Lord’s Prayer in defiance of the school district’s decision to no longer include prayer at graduation ceremonies.

What if conservatives just started ignoring the left, on matters such as this? What can the left do? Well, besides auditing the kid for the rest of his life. And refusing him a life saving operation when he asks the government for approval. And monitoring his emails. But besides all that, they can’t do much. Heck, if a kid wants to say a prayer  at his or her graduation ceremony, just do it. The worst they can do is pull the plug, and even then the kid can raise his or her voice. The audience will listen and whoever pulled the plug will look stupid.

Okay, the ACLU and other groups will shriek about the the separation of church and state, which isn’t in the Constitution, by the way. Bottom line, the kid didn’t establish a religion or force anything on anybody. Atheists in the audience were under no obligation to suddenly start attending church. Of course, they can say they’re “offended,” but people aren’t under any obligation to avoid offending the left, no matter what the left claims. It’s amazing how much speech is suppressed because the left claims to be offended by stuff. Damn near anything they don’t like “offends” them.

We need more of this. A lot more. It’s not like the kid was occupying a public park and turning it into a trash heap and breaking windows on nearby banks. Not that anybody would do that, of course. It’s strictly hypothetical. He just defied the left and said what was in his heart. Good for him. I hope he’s never seriously ill, because the left has a long memory and they like to set up panels.

Occupy movement? Nothing new.

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Coming toward me a guy who looked like a girl and a girl who looked like a guy altered their course to join one group.  The girl got right into things and the guy squealed with pleasure whenever she said something clever.

Maybe there were ten groups, maybe fifteen.  If it hadn’t been raining there might have been more.  Nobody talked about the same thing.  Occasionally someone would drop out of one crowd and driver over to another.

But they all had something in common. The same thing you find in a slaughterhouse. The lump of vomit in the center of each crowd was a Judas sheep trying to lead the rest to the ax. Then they’d go back and get more. The sheep were asking for it too. They were a seedy bunch in shapeless clothes, heavy with the smell of the rot they had asked for and gotten. They had a jackal look of discontent and cowardice, a hungry look that said you kill while we loot, then all will be well with the world.

Mickey Spillane, One Lonely Night

That was written in 1951, and he’s describing communists meeting in a park.  Sure sounds like modern day occupiers.  There really is nothing new under the sun.  They’re just more mainstream now, which means Mike Hammer didn’t finish off enough of them.

One Lonely Night harkens back to a time when men were men and dames were dames.  Spillanes Mike Hammer carried a “rod” and says what he’d like to do with a commie general.

There was only one catch I could think of. Someplace was another MVD laddie, a real one. I’d have to be careful of him. At least careful that he didn’t see me first, because when I met up with that stinkpot I was going to split him right down the middle with a .45!

I find that refreshing.  Hammer is the good guy, and commies are the bad guys.  Which is how it ought to be.  And of course, there’s Hammer’s secretary, Velda.

Velda. Lovely, lovely Velda. She waited for me by the door and when I walked up to her I watched her lips purse into a ripe, momentary kiss. The rows and rows of eyes that had been following me jumped ahead to this vision in a low-cut dress who threw a challenge with every motion of her body. The eyes swept from her black pumps to legs and body and shoulders that were almost too good to be real and staggered when they met a face that was beauty capable of the extremes of every emotion. Her head moved just enough to swirl her black page-boy hair and the look she sent back to all those good people and their white-haired guardian of the law was something to be remembered. For one long second she had the judge’s eye and outraged justice flinched before outraged love.

This stuff’s like an escape, from the madness the left has foisted upon the nation.  What the heck has happened to this country, when the commies are the good guys and Hammer would be a bad guy.  But wait, maybe I’m slipping into good old days mode.  There is also this, from the commies in the park scene.  A soldier wanted to kick some commie ass.

“Uh-huh.” The cop steered him out of the crowd. I heard him say, “That’s just what they want. It makes heroes of ’em when the papers get it. We still got ways of taking care of ’em, don’t worry. Every night this happens and I get in a few licks.”

Sounds like the papers were sympathizers back then.  Maybe things have been a certain way for a long long time now.

A Contemporary Fantasy

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It’s early evening, and the president gets a phone call.  A consulate is under attack.  The president takes command and calls together generals, intelligence officials, secretary of state, and various other advisers.  He convenes an emergency meeting in the Situation Room, somewhere underneath the White House.  The president cancels the next day’s fundraisers, even though it’s an election year.  That’s not an important consideration at this time, there is an emergency and the president knows it’s his responsibility to deal with it and saves lives if at all possible.

There are monitors on the walls and maps with little lights on them.  The president is like Captain Kirk when the Enterprise is being attacked by Klingons.  He’s clearly in charge, right there on the bridge giving commands.  He knows what to do.  The president asks questions, listens to the answers.  Some of the answers disagree with each other, which is all right.  The president can sort it all out and come to the right decision.  The buck stops with him, and he knows it.  He understands the heavy responsibility of the office, and that any decisions made there that night cannot be political, they have to be what’s right for the country.  He’s not so conceited to believe that what’s right for the country is defined by what’s best for him politically.

After receiving briefings and finding out what military options are available, he makes a decision he feels is best, best being based on saving as many lives as possible.  He gives the orders, and prays his decisions are the correct ones.

Hey, you can’t blame a guy for fantasizing a bit, now can you?

We have another consensus

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“There is a wide and strong expert consensus on the pressing need to act now to begin debris removal activities,” he said in an ESA press release at the end of a four-day conference in Darmstadt, Germany.

“Our understanding of the growing space debris problem can be compared with our understanding of the need to address Earth’s changing climate some 20 years ago,” he said.

Not just a consensus, but an expert consensus.  Those carry more weight.  Nearly as much weight as Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell having a tryst.  Sorry for the visuals.

Okay, they say there are 23,000 pieces larger than 10 cm, and many more that are smaller.  Even if they’re small, they can be devastating if they hit something, just because of the speeds they travel.  This makes sense.  But think about this next paragraph for a second.

They heard proposals aimed at removing the largest chunks of debris out of orbit at the rate of five to 10 items per year.

The article mentions we’ve been putting stuff in space for 55 years.  Sounds about right.  My handy calculator says that 23,000 / 55 is 418.18.  Now, if I take 418.18 and subtract 10 from it, I get 417.18.  That means if we spend a fortune trying to remove all the crap up there, we’ll have a net gain of 417.18 pieces of crap added per year instead of 418.18.  Hardly seems worth it.  Yeah, I know.  If it saves just one satellite, it will be worth it.

Now, if I were cynical, which I’m not, I’d think these experts are setting themselves up for some major grant money, which means the Democrat party will come up with a space junk tax.  If I were a Democrat, I’d just tack a “fee” onto phone and cable bills because they have satellites and stuff.  It’s safe to predict this because no members of the Democrat party are going to read this.  It’s not a Democrat party echo chamber.  They’ll think it up on their own, of course.

Confirmed by the AP, gun laws are inneffective

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CAMBRIDGE, Mass. (AP) — A Massachusetts police official say the brothers suspected of bombing the Boston Marathon before having shootouts with authorities didn’t have gun permits.

Okay, I’m on the cusp of disillusionment.  All these gun laws, and they don’t seem to work when we need them most.  Which is really never.  Undoubtedly, Massachusetts legislators thought they were accomplishing something by passing a law against carrying guns.  And just so some people could carry guns in Massachusetts–most likely connected Democrat party types who don’t want anybody else carrying them–they set up a permit process.  It’s complicated.  And difficult unless you’re connected.  Undoubtedly complicated and difficult enough that the Tsarnaev bros. bypassed the process entirely and carried guns anyway.  And the people who are the good guys obey the laws and are defenseless.  Hmmm, sounds like Mass. is run by the Democrat party, doesn’t it?  Strange how we get results like this when the Democrat party runs things.  Seems to be a pattern, but maybe that’s just Apophenia.

I don’t want government to leave me alone

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“You say you want to provide a government that leaves us alone; quite frankly, I don’t want that,” the student said. “I want a government that is going to help me.”

This is what a kid told Senator Rand Paul at a speech he gave at Howard University.  He then said this:

“Do you, Sen. Rand Paul, have a formulated solution to come up with new American values so that the citizens of this nation have a worth more than dead presidents and Ben Franklin?”

I’m not sure what this means, but I’ll attempt to address it.  This kid doesn’t want government to leave him alone.  Well, it’s not going to.  Here’s what will happen.  Someday the kid will have a job (well, that might be stretch).  If he does, he’ll have a bank account and he’ll have been voting all this time.  Voting for the Democrat party, undoubtedly.  And during that time, the Democrat party will have raised taxes on the rich because of five trillion dollar deficits, and they will have figured out there is a crisis the likes of which they’ve never seen.  So what will they do?

They’ll see that this kid has a bank account with money in it and they won’t even ask the kid if he needs it.  They’ll reach in and take it.  The first time they’ll say it’s a one time deal.  But it won’t be.  They’ll take, say, ten percent.  Then they’ll take another ten percent.  You can take ten percent nearly indefinitely because the ten percent gets smaller every time.  But they’ll see it gets smaller and go for fifteen percent.  The kid will say, hey, this isn’t fair.

Well, tough shit, kid.  You can’t do anything about it, because they’ll place limits on withdrawals just so the money will still be there for their taking.  But wait!  The 4th Amendment says they can’t do this.  Well, guess what.  Who will have been appointing Supreme Court Justices?  Right, Democrats.  They’ll say it’s fine to do everything they’re doing to you.  Just what is the Constitution, anyway?  Just some obsolete living document written by dead white men, and we know that discredits it.  And you’ll blame it all on the last Republican president, Bush, or Paul, or whoever it might be.

Kid, you’re screwed.

School bans triangular flapjacks

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This is from Breitbart.

It happened in Britain, but it could happen in Massachusetts or Maryland easily enough.  And I’m afraid I’m going to let my vast readership, all three of them, down.  Why?  Because I’m at a complete loss for words here.  First I was laughing too hard to write about it, then I was shaking my head in amazement so hard my monitor was disappearing in the periphery of my vision.

But I think I’ve pulled myself together enough to at least produce something, although it’s depressing.  I’ve been fortunate to live in a miniscule window of history when there was freedom in the world, at least part of it.  And I’ve been fortunate to live in the free part of it.  The kids today won’t know what it’s like.  Maybe because they’re too busy throwing flapjacks around like boomerangs that don’t return.  But more likely because people have surrendered their freedom for the illusion of safety.  In this case, it’s the freedom to bear triangular flapjacks.

So the only kids who will have triangular flapjacks now will be the bad kids, the ones destined for juvenile hall, or wherever they send the little shits in England.  And the schools will be triangular free flapjacks zones, so the other kids will be sitting ducks.  Returning fire with round flapjacks when being attacked by triangular assault flapjacks will be like attacking a gun wielding maniac with a pair of scissors, which the Department of Homeland Security has recommended.

So for the kids of today, I didn’t vote for anybody who would deprive you of triangular flapjacks.  But your older brothers and sisters who are old enough to vote have.  They’re just as screwed as you are, but they’re not smart enough to realize it yet and even when they are, they’ll blame it on Bush.  In the meantime, I’ll grow old in sanity’s waning years.