Anarchists Try to Blow Up a Bridge

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I just tried to write a headline the mainstream media would approve of and feel like an idiot.  An idiot like whoever wrote this article on May 1st.  Not one mention of their involvement with Occupy Cleveland.  This is a common technique in the media.  If people who are part of a liberal media-approved group behave egregiously, just relabel them.  The same thing happened when Bill Clinton pardoned some Puerto Rican terrorists.  The next day, they were called nationalists or freedom fighters or something along those lines.  The media didn’t want to report a Democrat party president pardoned terrorists, so they just labeled them differently than the day before.

Supposedly, the assclowns who tried to blow up a bridge by texting it described themselves as “anarchists,” but the media isn’t ordinarily too willing to let people define themselves.  They needed an out and it was handed to them, so they went along with it.  So suddenly occupiers are anarchists.

If this seems perfectly legitimate, then just try reversing this in your minds.  Suppose some people met at a tea party rally and decided to blow up an abortion clinic.  And suppose the FBI stopped them.  How would it be reported?

Tea Party Tries to Blow up Women’s Health Center!

 

Searching in All the Wrong Places

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From the Boston Herald:

Democratic Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren, fending off questions about whether she used her Native American heritage to advance her career, said today she enrolled herself as a minority in law school directories for nearly a decade because she hoped to meet other people with tribal roots.

“I listed myself in the directory in the hopes that it might mean that I would be invited to a luncheon, a group something that might happen with people who are like I am. Nothing like that ever happened, that was clearly not the use for it and so I stopped checking it off,” said Warren.

So apparently Elizabeth Warren was searching for her Native American roots in law school directories.  Not the first time people have looked for whatever they were after in the wrong places, and I’m not surprised she didn’t have much luck.  My recommendation would be to spend some time on a reservation, where there will be plenty of people with “tribal roots.”  Seems like a logical place to start.

Stuff like this is why you can’t do satire on the Democrat party.

A First for a Headline

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Don’t believe the headlines. Wind farms do not cause ‘global’ warming.

This is the first headline I’ve seen that says something doesn’t cause global warming.  Which means they probably do.  Theoretically.  Think about it.  The wind cools things down, or so it seems.  Put up enough of those stupid windmills, and the wind will be dampened and things will heat up.  There will be a lot fewer birds, too.  Spotted owls, condors, eagles, they’ll all be getting smacked in the beak by those blades.  Plus, they’re an eyesore.  (The windmills, not the birds.)

Everything the left does has adverse consequences they don’t cop to.  They simply wait until people forget it was their idea and go door to door asking people to donate money to their cause so they can lobby against those evil politicians who have blighted our landscapes with windmills.  For the time being, the consequences are offset by good intentions, similar to how carbon credits offset global warming.  Carbon credits, good intentions, both are equally effective.

Elizabeth Warren, Native American

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Elizabeth Warren is running for the senate against incumbent Scott Brown, R-MA.  Considering she’s a member of the Democrat party in Massachusetts, she stands a good chance just because she’s breathing.  Actually, Democrat party members can win senate seats even after they’ve assumed room temperature, as happened in Missouri a few years back.  She also has the additional advantage of being–hold on to your hats–a Native American.  Yes, indeedy.  She’s a grand total of 1/32 Native American, which qualifies her for minority status.

Apparently, there has been family stories about a Native American (formally Indian) heritage in her family.  Most families have stories like that, but only a far left liberal member of the Democrat party would list herself as a minority lawyer as she did.  And as a good liberal, she denies it was to give herself a professional advantage.  Yeah, right.

But it turns out she might have lucked out.  Now they’re actually saying who the Native American in the family is, a great-great-great grandmother.  That’s apparently enough to fill her DNA with a rich Native American heritage and establish she’s not a lying Democrat party member.  She’s 31/32 something else, but those Native American genes must have strong magic to trump it all.

Why These Results Are What They Are…

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Finally, a study I agree with, but the reason for the following results eluded the author, Conn Carroll.

One-third of respondents were asked to fill out the questionnaire according to their own views. One-third were asked to fill it out as they thought a “typical liberal” would. And the last third were asked to fill out the survey as if they were a “typical conservative.”

Haidt found that moderates and conservatives could accurately predict how liberals and conservatives would judge each statement. But liberals were far less capable of mirroring their ideological counterparts’ thinking. Those describing themselves as “very liberal” did worst. Apparently, contra Krugman, the more liberal you are, the less able you are to understand other people’s beliefs.

First of all, kudos to Mr. Carroll for writing this at all.  The occasional study on comparative traits of libs and normal Americans (couldn’t resist) typically is designed to make conservatives look like racist neanderthals, which of course we aren’t.  They’re intended to produce a desired political result.  And I don’t mean to impugn Mr. Carroll for not including the following simple explanation.  It would have taken his article off on a political tangent, which is my specialty.

Now why do conservatives understand libs better than the other way around?  Simple.  It’s because conservatives are exposed to liberalism constantly in the news, newspaper, workplace, schools, damn near everywhere.  Add to that the fact that liberals have gotten so far out, you can’t safely satirize them without giving them ideas.  So you can pretty much put down anything ridiculous and it’s already happened somewhere.  Just think of the last thing a lib did that made you go WTF and write it down.  Like banning milk in daycare centers or baby cribs with sides that drop down.  It’s hard to give a wrong answer.

Liberals don’t understand conservatives because they get all their information from what other liberals say about conservatives, not what conservatives actually said or did.  Ever hear a liberal comment on what a conservative said and try Googling it, only to find out it’s only on leftwing sites?  All the time, right?  The results would be more balanced if liberals watched Fox News instead of NewsHounds.  Or listened to Rush Limbaugh instead of browsing Media Matters.  They don’t do any of that and they don’t get a dose of conservatism by osmosis, because it’s not out there.  A liberal can live in a liberal echo chamber and still be part of society.  Their success guarantees their ignorance.

A Nation of Pipes

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Ever fly across the country with a window seat?  Most of the country is empty space, but there is usually a town visible somewhere.  And in that town are all the amenities of life.  Gas stations, a motel or two, a nearby airport, and of course restaurants.  If you were to visit that town and find a place to stay, you could eat and retire to your room and use the bathroom to go about your business, which would include flushing your business and hopefully washing your hands afterward if you’re not a member of the Democrat party.

Ever stop to think about all that?  Not the Democrat party part, the rest.  You can flush your business and turn a knob to make water come out of a faucet afterward, and it’s all because of pipes.  The restaurant probably cooked your dinner on a gas stove, requiring more pipes.  Do you see those pipes?  No, they’re rather unobtrusive for the most part.  You never notice them or think about them, but they’re all over the place delivering water and carrying away waste, transporting oil and gas to keep this great country functioning.

For some reason, our young president is confused by this.  He thinks one pipe is a major undertaking and votes present because he’s paralyzed by pipeline confusion.  First proposed in 2008, one pipe still has him flummoxed in 2012 to the point he wants to punt it right into 2013 so he won’t have to think about it during an election year.  It’s just a pipe, you can put it underground or lift it off the ground to offer shade to the local wildlife.  It’s not like this country isn’t crisscrossed by pipes already, but that one pipe has him stuttering and stammering and blaming Republicans for his own inability to deal with the everyday duties of being a president.  It’s pathetic.

A Tale of Three Quotes

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Quote 1:

Number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home.

Quote 2:

My main message is to the parents of Trayvon Martin. You know, if I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.

Quote 3:

If it turns out that some of the allegations that have been made in the press are confirmed, then of course I’ll be angry.

The first quote is our president weighing in on a white policeman arresting a black professor who was acting like a jackass.  It was a local matter and didn’t concern him in the least.

The second quote, as you all know, is our president weighing in on another local matter, which didn’t concern him in the least.

The third quote is our president weighing in on his advance Secret Service team embroiled in a scandal involving a prostitute in Colombia, before he arrived there to scout out a vacation spot for Michelle.  It’s not a local matter and it does concern him.

Now it could be that after the first two, our president has learned not to jump to conclusions and is acting more responsibly by waiting for the facts to come out.  Or it could be that the third one is embarrassing to him because it concerns the Secret Service, and it’s an election year.  Beats me, which one it is.  Politics is always confusing, so I’ll leave it up to the reader to decide.

The Plane in the Playground

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In the San Francisco Bay Area, there is a little community called Castro Valley, where I spent the first nine years of my life.  On Lake Chabot Road, where it stops going north and curves west, there was a place called the Community Center.  According to Google Maps, it’s still there, but it looks different of course.  The Noon Whistle was at the Community Center, a siren on a tall pole that went off every day at noon.  We could hear it from our house, and if you were standing under it at noon, it was loud.  Thinking back on it, it was probably an air raid siren, but I only knew it as the Noon Whistle.

Adults played bridge at the Community Center, four to a table in a large room with hard floors.  Once our mothers yelled at us kids for sliding bottle caps across the floor to each other.  They said we were disturbing the bridge players.  The bottle caps were the real deal, the type you needed a can opener to get off the bottles.  With cork inside.  I doubt today’s aluminum bottle caps would slide across a floor very well, but I’ve never tried it.  Kids today are getting ripped off.

But the best part of the Community Center was the F9 jet airframe in the playground outside.  It lay retired in a large sandy area, and was there so kids could play on it.  I now wonder how they got it there, but they did and it was cool of them to do something like that for kids.  They could have put monkey bars there, but they put a jet there instead.  How cool is that?

There were two intakes you could crawl through, you can see them in the picture.  The tail was too high for me to reach, and I used to look up at it and wish I could sit on it.  The cockpit was stripped bare, no joystick or whatever they used to fly the thing.  No instruments.  Just empty space, but it was still fun to get inside it.  The floor was shiny from all the sand that had been tracked in by the kids.  It was better than playground equipment, any day of the week.

Playgrounds these days have plastic crap to play on, another way kids are being ripped off.  I doubt there are many planes left in them.  Too dangerous, probably, although I survived it okay.  Most kids did, I’m sure.  Magical stuff like that seems to be gone.  What kids are going to remember plastic playground crap when they’re 57 years-old?  None of them, guaranteed.  I’ll bet if there were more planes in playgrounds these days, the kids wouldn’t be as fat as Michelle Obama says they are.  Riding bikes helped with that, too.  Ride a bike everywhere, and you don’t get fat.  Sure, there have always been a couple of little porkers around who couldn’t crawl through the intakes, but that’s just the way it is.

“Comfort the Afflicted and Afflict the Comfortable”

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Comfort the Afflicted and Afflict the Comfortable.  Journalists like to say this when giving tribute to other journalists, often in memoriam.  It’s considered high praise, and it sounds like it if you don’t stop to think about it at all.  Unfortunately, people don’t stop to think about it often enough.  It’s nothing laudable, to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable, when your job is ostensibly to report the news.

A novel concept, reporting the news.  If I were in the news business, I’d consider myself a failure if people said I’d comforted the afflicted and afflicted the comfortable.  It would mean I’d had an agenda.  I’d want them to say that I reported the news and tried my best to get the story right so that the public would be better informed as to what actually happened or was taking place.

How many of them actually do that, report the news and try to get it right?  None of them, really.  It would require researching what the Democrat party faxed them rather than transcribing it, and their days would be full of rebutting their nonsense if they were interested in accuracy.  Who really wants to do that?  It would take a lot of work and they’d stop getting the faxes after a few days of it.  The party invitations would dry up as well.

So we’re stuck with transcriptionists who believe their job is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable, which to them means promoting the interests of one party (the afflicted) and afflicting the other party (the comfortable).  Any guesses as to which party is which?

How Can You Tell When a Leftist Has Stepped In It?

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Other leftists treat the person as if they have leprosy.  In this case, it’s some unknown named Hilary Rosen, who said Ann Romney had “never worked a day in her life.”  Mrs. Romney raised five sons, so there’s no doubt she worked plenty hard at what’s a 24 hour job.  Seems like she raised them well, too.  None are Democrat party members, as far as I know.  The response from the left has been to place as much distance as they can from Hilary, which is unusual considering it’s doubtful they disagree with any of it.

The left aren’t distancing themselves because they disagree with it, but because it was a political mistake…the type that really matters to them.  Everything the left does is political in nature, and they must have looked at the polls.  To the left, sticking up for a stay at home mom or any kind of traditional arrangement is as unnatural as a cat jumping into a bathtub and deciding it likes it there.  It just doesn’t happen.  Not usually.

Mrs. Romney will make a classy first lady.